Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy New Year 2014

Pushed by popular demand (translation - I think the one person who asked me is popular), I have drawn yet another in my series of poorly-drawn cartoons, in honor of the new year.  You can tell it's a new year-themed cartoon because it says, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" right at the bottom.  It could have been a Halloween cartoon, I suppose, but I didn't draw it till now.  It is completely apolitical, unrelated to medical care, and has no social commentary at all.  Well, at least it really doesn't refer to electronic "health" records in any way.  Perhaps because, now that Mark is being employed by Epic, I have a conflict of interest.  Nah, just didn't happen.

I will try to blog more regularly.  There are lots of things I've been meaning to write about, so maybe I'll get off my rear at some point soon.

Anyway, to completely obviate the need for a brag letter that ain't coming, Mark is now working for Epic, proving that Zoology is a viable major, as long as you have a Computer Science minor, Keith is now a junior and it seems switching from Econ to Comp Sci (so he can get a Zoology job after graduation, I'm sure), and Rose had both knees replaced in July and is still not exactly a happy camper.

Best wishes to you (whoever you are, reading this) and yours for the new year!

And now, the alleged cartoon:

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

I am a really crappy blogger - nobody will come looking if I go 6+ months with no posts.  On the other hand, that could be considered an act of charity.  And, in the spirit of the season, a guest entry on charity from Ted Cruz:

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe even what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist – okay, even more certainly, since my actions and those of many of my colleagues and supporters raise reasonable doubt about the existence of love and generosity. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no pretense that, despite its long history of failures to make tolerable this existence, the "free market" would solve all problems, including lack of access to health care by the uninsured indigent amongst us. We should have no enjoyment, except in the further accumulation of wealth by the 1%.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairness! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, just as nobody has ever seen a free market in health care, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairness dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that it is not there – it could be, since it’s sure not in Congress. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. 

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. Otherwise, I should have to admit that the opposition of my colleagues, my backers, and myself to allowing all Americans access to some form of health insurance, however imperfect, was selfish, small-minded, wicked, and cruel, a phantasm produced by snorting the white pow(d)er of Koch – worse even than what Scrooge would abide.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus.  And he wants you to get off your lazy butt and get a high-paying job with good benefits, if you want more than a lump of coal this year.  Being 8 years old is no excuse for sloth.  To help you in this endeavor, we are also cutting off unemployment insurance payments to your parents, who would have gotten new jobs by now if they had not been narcotized by the government dole.

Yours truly,
The “Honorable” Ted Cruz


P.S.  Feel free to come by my office in Washington, DC any time for a cup of tea – but please bring your own tea bag.  Don’t be a moocher!